Holy crap.

I haven't used this in a while. I was busy with school and, well, the fad faded. However, I really need to rant - it has been too long for me to keep it inside much longer.

I've graduated and my life has exploded into a million pieces. Now all I can say is -

Holy crap.

People have hinted that this is going to happen for a long while. My friends have been applying, then accepting, then planning to go to their respective colleges for at least a year now. But it never truly sunk in - senior year was just supposed to strech out in to an oblivion of homework, essays and sleep-deprived nights. It wasn't supposed to end. And now it has and all I can think is

Holy Crap.

I'm an adult. With responsiblities and bills and things to arrange. I have to be motivated and put on makeup. The worst part is that I can do it. It would be so much easier if I knew that I would fail - I could just give up. But I can't. All I can do is complain and go

Holy Crap.

And then there's my boyfriend. I love him and, if not for my socio-economic level's upbringing, would marry him on the spot. But he's leaving for a college 800 miles away. And neither one of us can really do anything about it. He's going to be gone. And I'm stuck here where we first fell in love. And I'm going to remember that he's not here anymore. How am I going to be able to get though that? And yet, I love him, so I'm going to just have to. I'll just say the magic words under my breath and hopefully it won't be so bad.

Holy Crap.