Th3 H0rd3

So, since my grandma has passed away, my family has been trying to take all of the stuff out of her house, so the bank doesn't take it when they take the house (reverse mortgages: a pain). Even though most of her stuff had been somewhat sorted, and we had already had one pretty successful garage sale, LOTS of random items remained.

Like 100+ sets of salt and pepper shakers.

Because my family is the closest to where my grandparents used to live, and my grandpa lives with us (and because my mom did most of the cleaning) most of my grandmother's eccentric things wound up here. Now, our house, already too full to begin with, is crammed with detritus. Shelves, chairs, tables, the floor - they're all covered. We eliminated many things, but $975 in yard sale money and four+ donation truckloads later, we still have a huge mess. It's bad enough that not only is my room the cleanest in the house, but when I moved in, my father came and admired how neat my room was.

And I'm not that neat. Or anything close to it.

I also think that the boxes and boxes piling up are starting to affect my family. It's bad enough that my uncle comes over everyday and makes comments about how badly we need to clean our house, but it's worse because my father can't function with disorder. This means that he gets twitchy and becomes an unintentional grouch. My parents don't feel like they can have friends over, so they don't hang out with people outside their normally scheduled lives, which doesn't help any emotional stress they're having. Now, normally I would suggest going through everything and eliminating the unnecessary, but I doubt that anyone has a forklift that big.

At least my grandma's house is empty now.

Apparently people who don't drink can still get drunk.

On Love.

...

In my head that sounded funny. So, as you can see, I'm seriously all off-kilter with my humor. Rather, more off than usual. The reason? Th3 Nerdster - This ain't some casual fling, methinks (yeah, he decided he's pro-me). I can usually shrug off the woozy hormones after a week or two, but I've known/been going on dates with him for a month and still feel the after effects. This is not normal and is both scary and exhilarating, which makes my capacity to do useful things, like research personal narratives on rites of passage that happen in the bathroom*, diminished. Which is frustrating, as is the loss of my spare time.

But I really can't complain because he's totally worth it. We really mesh well and, despite the struggles of having 2 type A personalities in the same relationship, we're managing pretty well (adjustment issues aside). But, then, how can I judge? I'm still (!) floating on Cloud 9.

*This is actually something that I need to do - no sarcasm intended.

Th3 T4lk

'Th3 Nerdster and I are in the middle of a Talk about what our relationship (I held off a whole five days, even).  I'm not sure where it's going and I really want a hug, but would settle for music, but the only songs I can think of now are going to not help.

I should have waited to do this, but I can't keep things off my chest and I really want a hug.

...

My writing has really started to suck since I became hormonal.

Labels and Patience

During our impromptu date to go see Wicked, th3 Nerdster told me that he was feeling conflicted - he *really* likes me, but is still hung up on his ex. Or who his ex used to be. So, we are "going on dates", but not dating, which I think means that we get to go out with other people (but neither of us will), and he doesn't have to feel guilty about still liking her. Otherwise, as my non-boyfriend, he's been acting more boyfriend-y than he did as my actual boyfriend. He's holding my hand, trying to spend all sorts of time with me, giving me hugs/kisses, asking me to go with him on mundane errands. (And I'm not complaining about this - I *really, really, really* like him and want this to continue). My problem is that I'm confused - I'm not really sure what's going on - are we together? Are we not? What's the future going to hold? Is he going to decide that he can't be with me because of said feelings? Duly realized, he's only had four days to figure out a crisis of a breakup he hasn't solved in four months, but I hate waiting. Right now I don't know where I stand or what's going on - something I've never been comfortable accepting - or accepting at all.

This whole waiting-for-someone-else to-call-the-shots-thing is so not okay by me - good thing he's worth it.