I lost my voice today. It started to wander off yesterday when I was talking to a friend of mine over the Internet and hasn't really returned en masse. Perhaps it likes vacationing - if I was a voice, I would want to leave during this sort of weather too.
But while vacations may be nice to take, living without a voice is no fun - especially for me.
I've always loved talking; whether arguing with my Dad or hanging out with my friends, I always am verbally active. I whisper, project, cackle, persuade, inform, argue, excite, and shout. My life has always been full of speech - and hopefully always will be.
But today I am silent.
My function in life, to verbalize, to evoke emotion from dry, dusty words, is bereft. I can barely squeak a sentence out without attempting to hack out my lungs. My main activity is unavailable to me - how will I function?
It seems like this happens to many others as well - athletes who injure themselves, artists who go blind, intellectuals who get dementia. My grandmother, whose goal in life is to feed all who cross her path, can't do more than shuffle across her kitchen floor. She broke her hip last spring by dropping a carton of milk on it. She can no longer taste her cooking creations. Pretty soon, she's going to have to stop doing what she loves, what she identifies with. How will she identify herself then? As the woman who used to feed others?
That seems like a shitty label to me.
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3 comments:
:'(
this is so woeful i can't even.
P.S. BUT YOU CAN STILL TALK OVER THE INTERNET. seriously, come talk to me, i need distraction from how t.s. eliot is driving me mad.
Love the dramatic flare of this post. You're adorable. Think of this as a time to reflect. Maybe a talking "time out" is a good way to think about the power of words. Feel better.
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