Singing with gma

Today, during one of my required concerts for my choir, I felt my grandmother in the audience.  This would be plausible, except that she's dead and therefore not interested in such things.  I even thought I saw her for a second - until it turned out to be some other old lady.

The thing is, though, I wasn't the only one who was on the Grandma-was-totally-there-in-spirit train.  My grandpa decided that he was really sad, because she would have totally dug the concert and wasn't here.  It's okay though - he decided later that he was glad he wasn't also dead (what he's been hoping for since she died a few months ago) so he could hear me sing, because I have her voice.  My mother affirmed this and went on to explain how much my grandma dug musical theater and wasn't it a shame it couldn't have happened before she died.

Not helping the whole mourning process, family, thanks.  That being said, I really miss her still.  If she was here, she would have been all over that concert, dressing up, bringing flowers, asking why didn't the director realize my inherent genius and generally fussing.  And then we would have gone out to eat and sat and talked during the meal and on the drive home.  And we can't because she is dead and I messed up my song to her at the funeral and this has been bugging me for awhile and why I don't audition for solos anymore.

So that needed to come off my chest.....