I need a mental health vacation.

My life has been a big ball of stress for the past few days - I can't wait until this bit of my life is over.

Yesterday, I went to my usual meetings and class after my usual sleep-deprived Wednesday routine.  My sister wanted to be picked up from school (cramps) and so I went directly there after finishing my school obligations.  After picking her up, I remembered that I needed to drop off some walkers at my grandfather's convalescent home.  She agreed to sit in the car while I ran the errand.  On our way home from all of that, I got into a car accident.  And not just any-old-car-accident, either.

I hit a cop.

A cop!  For my first accident, I guess I had to go the whole way, right?  Long story short, six cops showed up to mill around, while my sis and I discovered that our car's plastic bottom bit was dragging on the ground.  She is now on crutches and I have whiplash and no car.

Today was the day my grandfather came home.  This meant that I needed to leave school early to pick him up from the home.  Because I stayed up cleaning the kitchen until midnight last night to get ready for his arrival, I was exhausted and barely finished my  homework in time for class.  I drove my grandfather home and mentally collapsed (physically, though, I had to keep going).  Eventually, I managed to collapse on my bed.  I could hear the battle sounds of both of my grandparents' televisions vying for the position of alpha noise-maker, and, later, my grandpa making wet cough noises that made me nauseous.

I hate being here, in this place.  I want to hang out with my friends, sharing stories and laughing.  I want to want to do something, and not just be obligated to.  I want to stop needing, and I want to need more.  I want.

But will I get?

Probably not.